27 Sep The Struggle Is Real
For the best part of three months I was injured, I kept fit with spinning but I was an injured runner and I really felt it. Every time some one would ask me how my running was going and I had to explain I was injured I felt a sense of loss in my life, a big part was missing, something that made me special was no longer so. At the start of July with the help of lots of physio, acupuncture, ultra sound and copious stretching I was starting to get better and was ready for some small runs again.
Running is hard, fucking hard. Spinning may be hard but it only really involves your legs, if your feeling sick it doesn’t really matter, if your not quite right, it doesn’t matter as long as your legs are attached to your body you can spin. But running, oh running, your whole body can be on fire, after a minute you can feel like your going to throw up, your lungs are trying to escape through your mouth. I was starting right at the beginning, 3 miles was a challenge (to be fair it was a hilly 3 miles, I started my running on holiday, see above picture) I thought after all the spinning and bikini body guide training I’d been doing I would just fall back into the easy pace of running. Oh how wrong I was, I was shit, and it got to me. This body had done amazing things, run at amazing speeds for epic amounts of time, gone home eaten a bagel and felt fine. Now this body could spin and could do a burpee or three but it was a tortoise when it came to running. I felt so heavy and awkward, I no longer knew body, what to fuel it with and how to make it run faster. Every run was torture, a reminder of how great I was and how shit I am now, and it was hard to make myself go for a shitty 4 mile run. I stuck with it, I have a 10 mile run in October and have promised myself a good time. I do not let myself down, I will throw up or break a leg before I don’t run a good time. So I stuck with it and gave myself a target of an extra mile every two weeks until I reach 10 miles and then work on my speed. Slowly slowly catchy monkey was my mantra, and a monkey I was god damn going to catch. I caught a cold, not just a cold, full blown man flue, I was dying man. A set back in my great plan, but I had the time to recover. Once recovered back to running I went, I was aiming for 15-20 miles a week, a couple of spin classes and some strength training. Yep averaging 9 workouts a week, no wonder I got a cold. I was improving but every run was hard, every run had to be better, longer, faster then the last and even then it wasn’t good enough. I can’t help but compare to how great I was, what a machine my body became, I truly believe I could have done anything and now I have to fight the urge to stop every 2 miles and have a little break down.
I recently ran to my mums, it had been a great dream of mine since Christmas and finally the time felt right. I thought it would be nice to only have to run one way. And it was, it was nice not having to think if I was struggling and should turn back now or having to see the same sights on the run back. Even if I walked I was getting to my mums (I was getting my hair done at my mums so one god damn way or another I was getting there). So I woke up, had my banana and sugar free red bull and set off for a 10 mile run. the first 2 miles I was good, really good, I felt like my old self, mile four I wanted to give up and call a taxi, I told myself to get to Lidl (mile 5) and then I could have a breather. Lidl has never been such a pleasant sight with its happy yellow and blue sign, like sunshine in the sky. I had a little sit down on the pavement and sorted out my music (Emeli Sande Hurts is a great song) and forward I went pounding my little way to Worthing. So I have worked out although I like to run on a relative empty stomach (I don’t like feeling heavy) a good dinner the night before might have been a smart idea (soup is not enough). So with a brief stop at the local Worthing BP garage to stand in the queue sweaty waiting to pay for a drink I made it to mums. I didn’t die and I did a good time just over an hour and half.
So I have learnt, I will get better, I just have to stick with it. I don’t need to eat mountains of food, in fact its better if I don’t, but a bit of pasta the night before wont go amiss. And finally one day my body will be a machine again, it has to be, I have 26 miles to run and only 193 days to get amazing to do it.